I’m starting this post off the back of my previous post, August in Arrenjarka. Arrenjarka is the village I’m currently living in. it consists of just one family passing the land down generation after generation. My hosts’ children will be the seventh generation to inherit the land… and what beautiful land it is, when not haunted by mosquitoes in the dark… yes I’m still complaining about the mosquitoes. Anyway please do enjoy my recollection of September in Sweden.
1st September 2020
I’m getting up too late. It’s almost 11am again and I haven’t even brewed my morning tea.
I spoke to my friend Rob last night and he managed to eradicate my negative thoughts. I’m genuinely scared of this potential new world order.
I tried to stay away from it all up here, but I still hear of stories here and there of things happening in the world and it’s frightening. I actually don’t mind if humans “destroy” the planet.
Humans won’t really destroy anything. We’ll just make it uninhabitable for humans, but another life will thrive instead.
Isn’t that also beautiful?
I would rather die free and stupid than die restricted by a governing body in the shadows.
Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps it all is just a conspiracy. Though I feel I see far too much evidence to be persuaded otherwise.
I’m struggling to keep my thoughts on the present too. I think my time here is coming to an end. Certain things are starting to frustrate me, yet the beauty of the northern lights, sky life and Autumn colours are keeping me quiet.
Even so, I want to research my next step, but it’s a struggle here with the unorganised working times and lack of wifi.
I think I will go to Viv’s house (who I met in Slovakia). He’s in Belgrade at the moment with his Serbian girlfriend and apparently, the wifi is the bomb there.
For that, I need to wait another five weeks. So it’s good that I wrote this to clear my mind.
Now I shall focus on the present.
2nd September 2020
I took Saiva, their Finnish Spitz out on a short walk yesterday.
I also read my book by the dock. It was nice of Puma (the house sleddog) to come and visit me.
After I went for dinner. Magda’s parents were hosting family friends and I had the privilege of joining.
Last night I went out to watch the full Moon rise up from behind the mountains. Whilst waiting I had the pleasure of watching Mars rising too. A singular red star on the horizon.
Yes, I’m writing it again. The sky life is truly incredible up here.
I’m going on a hike today.
The same 23km hike that I completed with Michaela. I certainly wouldn’t be doing this if it was a normal day, but Magda’s parents have a family friend over who wants to hike it, but not alone. So I am accommodating. I can’t complain, I’m hiking over a mountain for work.
3rd September 2020
I feel a little rough today. Magda and her daughter also have a cold.
I think I’m just tired from the long walk yesterday and staying up late to; watch the full Moon illuminate the mountains, surrounded by thousands of stars, Mars glowing red amongst them and the northern lights swirling greens over the lake.
Even so, I have been given a rest day.
Yesterday’s hike was good though.
The autumn colours of reds & yellows really transformed the views in comparison to the last time I walked it when everything was still green.
Now I’m eating some homemade cake and I’ll take a vitamin C supplement afterwards, just in case I’m getting sick.
I’m also going to edit my podcast with Zsòfi today. I met her back in Leipzig.
5th September 2020
Still struggling to get up in the mornings, though last night I was up until 1am playing Rome. Very Silly.
Something strange happened in the shower today. I somewhat twisted my neck causing an absurd click noise.
Pins and needles ran from the base of my spine to my jaw. It was also really painful and I felt nauseous and dizzy.
I actually left the shower to sit on the bench. Death by twisting my own neck in the shower is preferably not the way I want to be remembered.
Am I really that old?
Clearly. Perhaps I need to start controlled stretching more often. It was likely caused by the hike and looking down at my laptop for long periods of time.
6th September 2020
Woke up early this morning, but I think it’s due to the alcohol in my system.
I shared a few beers with a young German couple on their honeymoon.
I shared my funny story of almost accidentally killing myself in the shower and Dominik offered to say a healing prayer.
I’m becoming more and more spiritual and so I accepted. A fair few people that I follow on YouTube, Instagram and such, have found Jesus recently.
I’m not sure if I believe in Jesus, but my shoulder/neck does feel a lot better today.
We harvested potatoes yesterday morning. I enjoy harvesting potatoes. There’s a little dopamine rush each time you find good ones.
I’m not a fan of eating too many potatoes, as I try to keep carbohydrates in my diet to a minimum most of the time.
But I have to say, they did taste pretty good when boiled so fresh.
I also went for a drive yesterday with my host to Kvikkjokk. There are some rapids there and I visited the helicopter pad.
The church there is also incredibly beautiful. Decorated in what I would describe as fish scales.
7th September 2020
It is evening currently. 11pm. I feel suicidal again. I won’t do anything stupid as It’ll be inconsiderate.
It’s insane that I can feel this way when I am surrounded by so much beauty.
But that is just it. I’m not here. Again. My mind is off in the future. Again. I need to find a better solution to dealing with my fears of a global agenda, else it’s going to ruin me.
I go to Jokkmokk this week which will help break up the monotony of daily poop cleaning.
6th September 2020
I’m still underweight. I thought I’d put a good amount of weight back on, but I’m still only 61kg.
I had a good few days in Jokkmokk.
We went on a hike with the kids on the first day.
The second day I went for a 3km run-up to a viewing point above the town. I did a quick session at the outdoor park gym on the way back to the house.
I went to the museum, which was interesting and full of Sami artefacts.
I took the opportunity to use the museum’s wifi to facetime a few friends that evening too.
Yesterday, a moose was hunted. It was brought back to the village where we skinned it.
The meat needs to hang for several days, but we took the tongue back to eat.
Unfortunately, the moose’s stomach was hit by the bullet, so the tongue wasn’t good and we would later find that the rest of the meat was not as good as it should have been.
But we took a moose tongue from the freezer – last year’s kill – and we ate that for lunch with bread made with moose stock which is something I find very interesting. Perhaps it is the most nutritious bread I’ve had. It would be good to find out how many nutrients the bread would hold whilst baking.
18th September 2020
I’ve seen some amazing displays of northern lights recently, even so thoughts have been running amok recently. So much so that it felt daunting to write them down, but after another conversation with Rob this evening I managed to create a basic plan of action.
I’ve had a nagging feeling of buying property ever since I left home and I think I need to settle that nagging feeling.
First, though I need vitamin D. I need sunshine. I need to go brown. I need to also gain some muscle weight.
I caught my own eye in the mirror as I was washing my face and there was something in there. A spark of Determination. Direction.
There are a few baby birds still around Arrenjarka. They also need to get a move on and head on down to Africa before it gets any colder.
22nd September 2020
I went on a walk with Magda’s cousin, Josefin. We went on a short hike to a waterfall. It’s called brudslöjan, which translates to the bride’s veil.
It was incredibly beautiful with the autumn colours.
25th September 2020
It snowed a fair amount last night. It’s almost all gone this morning, but it is a reminder that winter is nigh.
27th September 2020
It has just dawned on me that I could look through my previous journal and see how I was feeling this time last year.
I can’t believe it has been over a year already since I left home the first time.
I haven’t written here much recently, because I’ve been pretty angry about things. It’s probably the best time to write, but sometimes I just think, fuck it.
It’s difficult living in someone else’s house and clearly seeing the reason why something isn’t working properly. But it’s not my place to advise lifestyle change.
Still. Today I am up early myself. I have put a load in the washing machine already and I watched the sunrise.
My hands aren’t used to these -3°c temperatures. Yes, it is now that cold at night and in the morning.
I have agreed to stay with Michaela in Stockholm on the 3rd so that I can fly to Serbia on the 4th of October.
Therefore I’m going to finally use the sauna on the lake today.
I have done a few new things since writing here too. I worked in the restaurant for a couple of nights. I finally saw the mice that live within the walls of my cabin. They have a little hole at the base of a tree stump outside of my cabin.
We also butchered the moose meat. I think I would like to work with a butcher for a while to learn all of the cuts properly.
28th September 2020
I’m wide awake pretty early today. 5.40am.
I really needed to pee.
The sauna made me super thirsty last night so yeah I drank a lot of water before bed.
It was good though – the sauna. I had to row the boat there in the dark and at several points being in the middle of the lake surrounded in the darkness I expected to hit an iceberg and sink.
Ok, slight exaggeration, but there was ice on the lake yesterday morning.
Fortunately, I made it to the sauna cabin on the lake.
You have to make a wood fire and then pour the water from the lake onto the hot stones to generate steam. It was a really nice experience.
I’m waiting for sunrise at the moment and I have used the final remnants of honey that I brought with me from Leipzig. It has me thinking of my own apiary in the future.
Hmm…
I think Magda has organised for me to have surströmming this evening. In translation, it would mean sour herring. Effectively it is fermented (rotten) fish.
Now I know they don’t like me, providing such a final meal.
Just kidding. It’s an old cultural dish from these parts of Sweden, so it’s great that I will get the opportunity to try it.
Tomorrow I’m leaving Arrenjarka (I think), as I make my way to Belgrade, Serbia. I still need to confirm the possibility of leaving tomorrow.
vi får se. I like this phrase. It translates to “we will see”.
Perhaps it’s because it is in another language that it sounds more supernatural. It reminds me of the Saxon phrase
“Wyrd bið ful āræd” which means fate is inexorable. Fate is impossible to prevent.
I’m not sure if I believe in fate, or if I believe we are all just floating around like, but I think it could be a bit of both, somehow.
Present Reflection
I noticed how negative I sound at times, whilst I was reading through my journal. I do tend to write in my journal more often when I am in a negative mindset and I know I need to improve the consistency of writing every day.
I truly had a wonderful time and I discovered the way of life I desire is actually possible.
This discovery or reassurance actually added more stress to my mindset as I started to focus on the future instead of enjoying the present more often, but has given me peace of mind now.
One day I will go back. I know that I felt lonely at times looking up at that sky, and so I hope I return with a special someone.
Vi får see. Wyrd bið ful āræd.