The Wrong Boat

I find myself being drawn into a belief of God.

There must be someone out there with a plan. Right?

Maybe I’m just looking for someone to lead me… though is it that such a bad thing?

I’ve listened to so many entrepreneurs say YOU MUST TAKE ACTION, no-one else.

But didn’t every great leader and legend follow the example of someone?

Did Hercules not look to Zeus?

Did Ragnar not seek guidance from Odin?

Did Caesar lead victory in the name of Mars?

Did the Sultan, Mehmed II not find solitude with Allah?

And many thousands of kings, queens, knights, and soldiers die for a Catholic God’s plan?

Last night, my depression returned in full force. Suicidal thoughts became an urge. An urge to pacify my existence in hell on Earth.

And yet only yesterday evening, I went to look at a van to potentially purchase and convert into a living space.

I didn’t purchase it. Something seemed off.

I trust my instincts more than anything.

And that’s when it hit me. An overwhelming realisation or feeling.

I know that I’m in the same quarantine boat as everyone else.

That isn’t the problem. The problem is everyone else thinks I’m mad. So I need to conform.

When they ask me what 2+2 is, I clearly know it is 4. Except that’s not what the majority of eyes wide shut people see. They see 5.

Therefore I should reply with 5, or else suffer the consequences of telling the truth.

There is a lot more going on with this corona virus than what the the mainstream media inform us.

And honestly I only see one man fighting it. This will take you by surprise, and I expect retort. Donald Trump.

Seriously. I don’t know if he is gaining personally from it, but at least he is attempting to prevent microchips and vaccines being inserted into a currently still free humanity.

I bought an online certification on nutrition, physical and mental health. I’m still studying, but I don’t agree with a lot of it. Most of it is the norm. The path of the proverbial sheep.

Following guidelines setup by tyrannical, satanic powers.

And what for?

I left the corporate life, I hope for good.

But I still feel as though I’m in the rat race.

I believe right now that I want to live in a community where little or no money is required to live. Where money isn’t God. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

No man can serve two masters: for either he
will hate the one, and love the other; or else
he will hold to the one, and despise the other,
Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Matthew 6:24

For a long time now, I have believed in a greater power, labeled God and many, many other things in science fiction.

An interrelation of all energy.

“it’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together.”

Ben Kenobi

Even so with this belief. This believe of connection, potential love and peace, kindness… I see – and feel – a constant imbalance of morality.

It just feels like I’m surrounded… If the powers at be aren’t trying to restrict my freedom, it’s some lowly fucking pikey cunt trying to cheat me.

Greed and lack of empathy is rife.

My suicidal thoughts returned to my conscious mind last night. I just thought to go downstairs get a knife and stick it through my throat…

BUT!

My sleeping pattern has gone to shit.
My diet has gone to shit.
The ability to talk to real people in real life has gone to shit.
My concentration has gone to shit.
I don’t know what the fuck I want to do next in my life if that’s even a choice anymore.

Understanding these thoughts accumulated are rocking my little boat, I just decided I was too comfortable in bed to get up, go downstairs and try to pierce my own skin and (muscle) cleanly.

This morning my friend sent a YouTube video, informing me that she hit the spot with how he felt.

So I watched it and damn, she wasn’t far off my thoughts too.

It’s a difficult time for almost everyone.

“We’re all in the same boat”

I understand. I’m also in a better position that a great many other people.

Problem is, and I think this really is the real problem. I’m in the wrong boat.

Because I would rather have less still and live in a location where we, the people, the tribe, the colony, the society, the community decide on a quarantine.

Distanced from technology and exempt from propaganda.

Unfortunately I haven’t yet escaped the the cells of Globalism, Marxism and Satanism.

If money and our owners weren’t dictating the current quarantines, this poem would speak true.

I’m looking now, more than ever. After experiencing a glimpse of freedom, I’m praying for that opportunity.

Amen. So it be…

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